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Chinese Classics with a twist: Outlaws of the marsh -
Wu Song's Family Fuel

16 March 2014

Wu Song was an accomplished kung fu man, and the memory of his legendary exploit was known by everyone in the Sunny Valley County. It is said that he was once confronted by a tiger known as Na Zi - a man-eating beast who had swallowed a dozen of people, including a woman called Pole Land and a guy named Front See. But the big cat's luck ran out when it had a fatal encounter with Wu Song. Despite suffered some injuries and shed some blood, the kung fu man managed to kill Na Zi with his bare hands.


For what he did, Wu Song was hailed as hero by the locals, paraded along the streets in the town centre and became a permanent member of the county's security council.


Yet what made Wu Song most happy was he reunited with his brothers Wu You Cry and Wu Cry Me. You Cry couple and Cry Me shared a house, with the east chamber given to them as gift by Wu Song and the west chamber purchased from that dead woman Pole Land.


One day Wu Song received an assignment from the county magistrate. He was asked to lead a group of kung fu men to participate in a grand Taichi game at a city called SoTaichi.


Since Wu Song left, the family had to rely on You Cry's sesame pie business and Cry Me's fruit peddling job to get by, and the family head was forced to introduce temporary austerity measures to help cope with the financial stress.


However, Gold Lily, You Cry's wife, was bitter over the drop in living standards and kept protesting against the family head at the front door.


Her dissatisfaction was quickly noticed by Undone States, also known as Mr Bla Bla Bla O'bla - the richest man and the biggest bully in the town. As a consummated kung fu master he was resentful for not being able to present the town at SoTaichi game, and felt his number one strongman position was under Wu Song's challenge. Now he spotted a golden opportunity to bring down Wu family, so he promptly created a chance meeting with Gold Lily.


He then went to talk to teahouse keeper Join Killer who was a professional match-breaker and had effectively stirred internal discord among the members of many families and successfully torn apart a scores of households.


Upon receiving the directive, Join Killer wasted no time to knock at the backdoor of You Cry household and visited Gold Lily secretly.


"You Cry has been so corrupted and is a dictator, you should be the one to run the household," Join Killer told the woman. Gold Lily was tempted, "Really? Can I?" "Why not!" said Join Killer. "Your household needs your courage and leadership now." "Will you help me then?" Gold Lily was keen. "Of course, but, there is a price, you know, I'm a business woman, and Undone States is a business man."


The deal was made, and the price was 40 boxes of gold, that was family's entire life saving. Through Join Killer, Gold Lily maintained daily contact with Undone States who seduced the woman to become his concubine and promised her with a life in luxury.


Since then, Gold Lily's protest escalated into a violent clash with You Cry, and presented herself as the victim of domestic violence.


But the truth is it was Gold Lily and her men who killed family member.


Now You Cry family had no leader so Gold Lily self-appointed as the new household head. Join Killer and Undone States promptly announced their indorsement and support for her.


Youngest brother Cry Me was very upset, and when he learned 40 boxes of gold had been secretly transported to Undone States' home, he went to demand an answer from Join Killer.


Join Killer tried to terrorize Cry Me with her punches and shoves. Cry Me vowed after his big brother Wu Song returned from SoTaichi, he would make her very sorry.


SoTaichi's Taichi game was a great success. Although Wu Song heard news about his brothers, he managed to wait until the closing banquet finished then hurried his way home.


As soon as he arrived in the town, he went to see his youngest brother Cry Me, and Cry Me told him how Gold Lily, Join Killer and Undone States destroyed You Cry, threatened him personally and stole all family savings. He said he already declared the east chamber where he lived to be independent from the west chamber where Gold Lily occupied and prepared to merge his chamber with Wu Song's big house again. "I don't want to live with Undone States' mistress," Cry Me said, and cried.


Thus Wu Song went on to avenge his brothers with his sword.


He also asked the county magistrate to investigate Join Killer and Bla Bla Bla O'bla for the crimes against You Cry. But the magistrate got a large sum of bribes from Undone States and declined to do anything.


Instead, the county's security council tried to pass an Undone States-sponsored resolution declaring Cry Me's decision to reunite with Wu Song is invalid. "I'm the permanent member of the security council, I veto this resolution," pronounced Wu Song. His neighbour (another permanent member of the security council) also rejected to support the resolution. "This botched resolution at this moment would only result in confrontation and further complicate the situation," he stated.


But Undone States determined to bring punishment to Wu Song. He delivered both gifts and pressure to a neighbourhood organization called East Undone and told the EU leader named Angry Merge that "if Cry Me insists to join his brother, we should impose sanctions against Wu Song, such as prohibit him from visiting teahouse and brothel and exclude him from our gambling games and group fighting."


"Hell with your teahouse!". Wu Song pursued justice relentlessly by way of pursuing Undone States.


And threw the bully out of an upstairs window like shooting down an unmanned military aircraft.

狮子楼 《水浒传》之九 朝花美术出版社


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