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Chinese Concubine & Russian Partner

14 July 2013
 

Chinese comments:
高悬利剑: 看看多像家长教育孩子!家长指手画脚,我们的官员老老实实的仔细聆听!Gobibuto: 翘起二郎腿,给马仔训话呢!Ware123: 这会儿大概幽默不起来了。主子的脸色那么难看,草包一脸的茫然。满脸春风: 那草包在在奥巴马面前无言以对,真丢人。

Chinese vice premier: My lord , I'm so nerves to meet with you, and I don't even know where to put may hands, 'cause I still can't believe my dream would become true so soon. Look my tie, do you like the pattern? I wear this just for you - stars in my eyes and stripes on my tie.

US president: Hand on. Let me ask you this first. How dare you didn't do what I said.

Chinese vice premier (seeing many starts): hummm - I have done all you asked me to do.

US president: Bullshit. One of my kids recently became very rebellious and ran to you front door. I ordered you to send him back, but you let him slip away to your neighbour's frontyard - I want to know your reason.

Chinese vice premier (head reeling, seeing more starts): This - is, because - my lord - humm - I, I - now I left Guangdong, and, and live in Beijing, that is very far from Hong Kong, hum, I seldom go to front door and, and didn't know what the guards, the guards did to your kid.

A Chinese delegate: Mr. President, we also have wanted some naughty kids who led to the death of their brothers and sisters but you allowed them to run into your bedroom and hide them in your toilet, for instance East Turkistan's Rebiya Kadeer and Falun Gong's Li Hongzhi.

US president: Let me tell you something. It is up to me to determine which kids are good kids and which kids are bad kids.

The Chinese delegate: The Snowden kid hurts no one and killed nobody, but tries to stop you from stalking and harming our kids and your kids and all the kids in the village.

US president (to Chinese vice premier): Who is this guy? Does he have any idea to whom he is talking?

Chinese foreign minister (to Chinese delegate): Don't you understand it is very wrong to criticise American government? We are "一荣俱荣 一损俱损" (being bound together for good or ill).

The Chinese delegate: So Chinese people will have to pay price for the US' ill acts including invading Iraq, bombing Pakistan, spying the world as well as arms sell to Taiwan, military support to Japan, air strike of Chinese embassy and mid-air collision with Chinese aircraft, isn't it?

US president (to his assistant): Very well, very well. Tell the Congress, I'll sign the bill to help Taiwan to gain a seat in the International Civil Aviation Organization, and, and, I'll force Chinese companies to provide US federal regulators with audit papers.

Chinese vice premier: I'll prosecute him back home like we did to Bo Xilai, I promise. Don't get angry with me, please, don't divorce me? That will be very very - expensive, think how much it has cost Rupert Murdoch when he divorced his Chinese wife, that is billions of dollars, please, please not to divorce me.

US president: Don't tell me what I should do.

Chinese vice premier: I would never have dreamed of telling you what to do, but, my lord, could you please, "please tell me how I am supposed to live without you! Now that I've been lovin' you so long, how am I supposed to live without you, how am I supposed to carry on when all that I've been livin' for is gone -"

US president: Silence! Now you get out of my White House.

Chinese vice premier: O, "I didn't come here for cryin', didn't come here to breakdown. It's just a dream of mine is coming to an end, and how can I blame you. When I build my world around, the hope that one day we'd be so much more than friends. And I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming" to be your wife -

US president: Stop singing Michael Bolten and stop calling yourself my wife - I have wife at home and, thank God, she is a proper woman. What are you? An eunuch or a shemale? Tell you what, you are not even qualified to be my concubine.

Russian President: My dare American partner, I have this latest piece of intelligence for you.

US President: Ya? What is it?

Russian President: Your run-away kid likes my home better than yours.

US President: Ar-ha, ar-ha, I know, I know that.

Russian President: He formally asked me to let him stay.

US President: Aha, yeah -

Russian President: Now you listen carefully, I don't want to harm you, my dare American partner, but I can't bear seeing a kid to be abused by his parent - I don't know about you, but I'm a believer of human rights and child protection.

US president: Yeah, yeah, so -

Russian president: So it is not unlikely that I may let him stay, for a while at least, until you have learned how to be a decent human being and a good parent, do you get my point?

US president: Aha, aha- shit! What if I request you to return him back to me?

Russian president: I guess I'll have to turn down your request, my dear partner.

US president: That's tough, I don't like it.

Russian president: I know, I know how you fell, I'm sorry, but, that's the way of life! Now, what are you gonna do? To help Chechnya to gain a seat in the International Civil Aviation Organization? Or to force Russian companies to provide US federal regulators with audit papers?

US president: Well, I can tell you that your refusal will certainly have a negative consequence to US-Russia relationship.

ML (commented on Russia Today): Let's see what Russia-US relations we are discussing:

- US provided support to terrorists in Chechnya
- US provided support to Georgia that attacked Russian peacekeepers and civilians
- US puts missiles on Russian borders
- US attacks Russia's allies by sending/supporting/arming terrorists
- US is waging propaganda war against Russia - Magnitsky law, etc
- US funds and provides media and other support for anti-government groups in Russia

So what exactly may become worse? Could anyone name a single result of so-called 'Russia-US relations' that is accidentally good for Russia and worth bothering about?

Russian president: Did you hear what that guy said? Do you want me to repeat it for you?

US president: That wouldn't be necessary, umph, I guess I'll cope. Bug me, why you are my Russian partner not my Chinese concubine!

 
 
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只参加评论:

自己要当小三,却拿全中国人垫背!

天堂风鸟:

杜十娘傍李甲,下场天下尽知。

做梦滴石头:

某国与某国长期保持不正当男女关系

阳光总在风雨后sunshineV:

恶心人,他能当上副总理,充分显示了政治的黑暗啊

诸公碌碌皆余子2016:

汪汪狗西洋舔菊寡廉鲜耻,狸红利圈地拆房丧尽天良!

先_锋_媒体:

满眼尽是讨伐贴,原来大海全是水。天生一副贱人相,无限风光在吾裆。

Baby's Nightmare

Hi, baby, he's your new daddy.

O no, he's the guy who stalked you, broke into our home, stole your money, beat you up, why do you wanna marry the world's biggest villain like him?

Chinese Political Cartoons

It is the US regime that invoked the spirit of a militarily aggressive Japan - any Chinese who said the US and China are indispensable to each other is either self-deceit or trying to help the predator to deceive the victim, and any Chinese who attempts to reform China according to the US agenda is either an idiot or an accomplice in the shadowy global government's murderous plot to destroy China.


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