A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there was a
planet called Mud; on the Mud there was an empire named Soviet
Associates; the Associates experimented an Associalist system
commonly known as Commonism that was designed to promote
common wealth among all associates.
But Soviet Associates had a powerful enemy, the United
Stockbrokers; the Stockbrokers practiced unrestrained
stock-marketism and believed the Mud should be owned
and ruled by the 1% wealthy and smart stockbrokers.
Thus the Stockbrokers worked diligently on dismantling
the Associates through their associates
inside the Associates, therefore a fierce
struggle between the two forces took place...
Below is a brief account of the
events occurred during that dramatic and traumatic time,
written in the ancient Ceramic Language by a distorian
pen-named “经略幽燕我童贯" from
another big nation on the Mud titled People's Republic of
Why Soviet Associates collapsed? The answer is straightforward:
the government officials lost their battle to the government
In the beginning the commerce game was played as hobby
by the government officials and their family members for
the purpose of earning some extra pocket money
Yet soon greed
took over and they were no longer content with just playing
commerce games but wanted to take up challenges in financial
sectors, therefore operating private
banks eventually became legal. No one believed me when
I said it would happen. But am I right?
I also said
the energy sector would also be opened to private investors
prior to the big government spending on the energy programs.
No one believed me when I said that. But am I right?
I never said anything that is groundless or baseless
with no reliable source.
To be fair,
after decades of development, the living standards of the
associates had improved quite a lot, but their savings
did not increase accordingly, and the aspiration on achieving
common wealth remained as dream.
Associates chiefly relied on real
estate development and infrastructure programs to drive
economic growth. In the upper end of the town, people accumulated
an astronomical amount of illegal income and constantly processed
money laundering through the activities like movie making,
art collection, land trading, fake charity donation and false
investment offer. But still these channels weren't convenient
and quick enough to convert all their black money into white.
by then the situation was like this: those fat cats in the
system had to find a better way to do money laundry otherwise
they could be caught.
At the time the Premier Univerversalvaluekov was still
in the office, while the poker-faced President Harmonysov
had some kidney problems and preferred to take it easy on
his premier. So Universalvalukov got a free hand to do
whatever he wanted for his
family. Several months before the end of his premiership,
his office announced a policy called neo-36 points that virtually
allowed almost everything owned by the state to get listed
on the stock market, including four major Orthodox churches.
The media in the United Scockbrokers unanimously praised
Universalvaluekov for daringly promoting the universal stock
energy sector was the lifeline of the empire, thus was an area
where quick and big money could be easily made. All greedy ones
in and outside the Associates fancied to take a slice of this
creamy cake. But the sector used to be under strict state control
with no private hands being able to touch it, which had broken
the hearts of many devoted energy-business lovers.
the table eventually turned around. When the good news spread
that Premier Universalvaluekov would help anyone who was
rich enough to have a bite of the cake, all the rich folks
put their money, real or fake, legally earned or illegally
obtained, on the table.
Frankly, no associate in the Associates was rick enough
to own the Lady Energy; the best they could manage was to
share her bed with many other guys. But even so, it means
they could legitimately gain access to her bank account and
credit card as the joint account holders, which mattered
So as you see, this was the situation in the Soviet Associates
in the middle of Mud Year 2012.
Premier Universalvaluekov was well known for his superb
acting skills, but later he got booed from Associates' audience
whenever he appeared on stage. Crownprincepov was the president
waiting in the wing. Although he was one of the sons of Generalski
who was one of the founding fathers of the Associates, and
he had some good experiences in doing practical work, his
wings were still not strong enough to allow him to brave
the wild storms. Chinglishnov was a cunning and cold-blooded
schemer and preferred to quietly climb into premier's office
without public notice, which was why Premier Universalvalukov
was frequently left to perform solo comedy.
How the affairs would conclude was anyone's guess, particularly
when taking account of the Associates Party that was about
to kick off in three months. There were many rumours with
some saying Threerepresentativ, the previous president, recovered
after a stroke and traveled from coastal metropolitan Onsea
to capital city Northkow where he made a secret speech. As
the high rank military officers still swore their allegiance
to him, the official mouthpiece of RLA (Red Liberation Army)
was compelled to warn the officers that they had obligation
to obey the order of the current president Harmonysov, thus
everyone in the Associates realised the RLA did not have
a harmonious relationship with its figurehead commander Harmonysov.
As for Premier Universalvaluekov, he was universally viewed
by the people and the army as the one representing the value
of high treason and corruption, thus how his premiership
would end was a subject quite interesting for historians
and distorians to contemplate.
Of course, by now you shall realised it's not about Soviet
Associates but everything about People's
Republic of Porcelain, and the events were not even
occurred in a far away galaxy but here in our Solar
System, and what's more, the episode is being staged right
now, and on going ...