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A Brief History of the End of Time
for an Empire

6 July 2012
 

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, there was a planet called Mud; on the Mud there was an empire named Soviet Associates; the Associates experimented an Associalist system commonly known as Commonism that was designed to promote common wealth among all associates.

But Soviet Associates had a powerful enemy, the United Stockbrokers; the Stockbrokers practiced unrestrained stock-marketism and believed the Mud should be owned and ruled by the 1% wealthy and smart stockbrokers. Thus the Stockbrokers worked diligently on dismantling the Associates through their associates inside the Associates, therefore a fierce struggle between the two forces took place...

Below is a brief account of the events occurred during that dramatic and traumatic time, written in the ancient Ceramic Language by a distorian pen-named “经略幽燕我童贯" from another big nation on the Mud titled People's Republic of Porcelain:

Why Soviet Associates collapsed? The answer is straightforward: the government officials lost their battle to the government entrepreneurs.

苏联垮台其实很简单,红色经理打垮了红色官僚,而在那之前,商业资本进入苏联国有企业占有股份,都还是由国家管理的。为啥?

In the beginning the commerce game was played as hobby by the government officials and their family members for the purpose of earning some extra pocket money

因为当时是体制内鼓动体制内参与体制内玩。野心有,但是大多是从消化黑钱角度出发的,真想瓜分资产,还没到哪个阶段。就俄罗斯共和国来说,市里联邦里很多领导的家属,那都是有份的。

Yet soon greed took over and they were no longer content with just playing commerce games but wanted to take up challenges in financial sectors, therefore operating private banks eventually became legal. No one believed me when I said it would happen. But am I right?

之前咱家说苏联要放开私人银行业,结果还有很多人不信。 咱家说中没有

I also said the energy sector would also be opened to private investors prior to the big government spending on the energy programs. No one believed me when I said that. But am I right?

咱家开始就在说能源产业苏联要放开,有一波建设小高潮。 在群里很多人都看见了,还讨论了半天,咱家说中没有?

I never said anything that is groundless or baseless with no reliable source.

咱家说的,肯定都是有所耳闻的发财门路,没点谱的咱家会说吗?

To be fair, after decades of development, the living standards of the associates had improved quite a lot, but their savings did not increase accordingly, and the aspiration on achieving common wealth remained as dream.

说句实话,苏联群众的普通生活水平,经过多年的建设,已逐步能够得到保障了。 但是人民的积蓄却没有随着经济的发展而提高,共同富裕本来就是画饼子的事。

The Associates chiefly relied on real estate development and infrastructure programs to drive economic growth. In the upper end of the town, people accumulated an astronomical amount of illegal income and constantly processed money laundering through the activities like movie making, art collection, land trading, fake charity donation and false investment offer. But still these channels weren't convenient and quick enough to convert all their black money into white.

苏联依靠房地产和基础建设投入,拖动工业发展和经济发展,这个模式发展了这么多年,在统治阶级的上层和中层积累了那么多财富,靠拍电影、炒收藏、做地皮、伪慈善、假投资这些手段洗钱,怎么洗得完?

So by then the situation was like this: those fat cats in the system had to find a better way to do money laundry otherwise they could be caught.

刺激经济投入发行了那么多货币,大量货币又不回笼重新搞建设,只能搞奢侈品消费,再加上后来流行搞金融搞投资,授信授信授你妈的信都授得手软了,这些钱生钱的手段是有极限的. 再不给这些体制内的黑钱找个出路,大家迟早一起完蛋。 制不能垮,垮了都没得玩,但是自从列宁建国以来搞了这么多年建设,总该分红了吧?!

At the time the Premier Univerversalvaluekov was still in the office, while the poker-faced President Harmonysov had some kidney problems and preferred to take it easy on his premier. So Universalvalukov got a free hand to do whatever he wanted for his family. Several months before the end of his premiership, his office announced a policy called neo-36 points that virtually allowed almost everything owned by the state to get listed on the stock market, including four major Orthodox churches. The media in the United Scockbrokers unanimously praised Universalvaluekov for daringly promoting the universal stock share value

当时的苏联总理普里马科夫还没有下台,但是快下台了的时候出台这么一个政策,说穿了就是收买人心。当时美国媒体一致评价,说普里马科夫领导着一个政府内的民主派,这个人又喜欢作秀。刚开始上台的时候,扑克脸罗曼诺索夫身体还好,他也就搞搞民生,做做秀。后来罗曼诺索夫得了肾病,身体不好也不太想管事了,于是这厮就跳出来了,尤其在他当政最后一年举措推得快得很。苏共14大召开之前,他这么搞,就是准备趁下台以前搅混水,否则以后离开政府职位了还怎么干政?水不混就没他混的了。 说穿了这么简单。

Associates' energy sector was the lifeline of the empire, thus was an area where quick and big money could be easily made. All greedy ones in and outside the Associates fancied to take a slice of this creamy cake. But the sector used to be under strict state control with no private hands being able to touch it, which had broken the hearts of many devoted energy-business lovers.

苏联的能源产业,关系到苏联的重工业和加工业,是国家的绝对命脉,是坐着都可以收钱的领域。多少人盯着等着吃这一口肉?以前苏联管得非常严,国家也查得很紧,私人资本稍微挨一点边,就今天一个检查明天一个审查,搞得人心惶惶。其实这些资本都是苏联能源产业内的部长、处长们的私房钱,几个人或者十几个人凑钱募一个资金,然后注册一个假公司,借个资质打擦边球给国家搞代建。 但是代建归代建,建完了以后国家付钱给你,之后怎么收钱都和你没关系了。多少人看着这口肉流口水?但是那时候能源产业作为国家经济命脉被看得很紧,虽然人人都有心思,但是顶多也就是批点西部乌克兰东输过来的天然气,或租或买个槽车,给私人企业搞气代油,赚点老婆小三出国扫街的零花钱而已。而更多的产业内的小头目都是不得门路而入,有钱只能去买房子买奢侈品希望保值,或者买金买银存起来,当时苏联黄金市场被抬到什么程度?说个旧闻给大家听恐怕都没听说过,有人买金条,买到最后金条都生锈拉,纸黄金推出来,不是没有原因的。

But the table eventually turned around. When the good news spread that Premier Universalvaluekov would help anyone who was rich enough to have a bite of the cake, all the rich folks put their money, real or fake, legally earned or illegally obtained, on the table.

后来好了,忽如一夜春风来,普里马科夫总理一声令下,国家经济命脉给私人资本打开了,这时候还不上等什么时候?一夜之间各种资金真的假的都集合起来,不就等着一口么?

Frankly, no associate in the Associates was rick enough to own the Lady Energy; the best they could manage was to share her bed with many other guys. But even so, it means they could legitimately gain access to her bank account and credit card as the joint account holders, which mattered greatly.

当然了,要说这些钱能把苏联能源产业买下来,那是扯淡,他们的资金连一家国有能源大型企业的资产数的零头都不如。但是钻进去搞点股份分分红还是可以的。经营国家的企业,由国家制定政策来推行,由自己代表国家来管理,当然顺便也给自己的股份合理捞一点好处,而且完全合法,不用担心不是你的钱。不用整天雇一群俄罗斯社科院的白痴叫兽,请一群蝗虫一样过境什么都不剩的妓者,然后你攻我受的大肆鼓吹私有财产合法了。这群213就是糟蹋钱的,谁用谁知道啊~!

So as you see, this was the situation in the Soviet Associates in the middle of Mud Year 2012.

总之,苏联当时的情况,就是如此。

Premier Universalvaluekov was well known for his superb acting skills, but later he got booed from Associates' audience whenever he appeared on stage. Crownprincepov was the president waiting in the wing. Although he was one of the sons of Generalski who was one of the founding fathers of the Associates, and he had some good experiences in doing practical work, his wings were still not strong enough to allow him to brave the wild storms. Chinglishnov was a cunning and cold-blooded schemer and preferred to quietly climb into premier's office without public notice, which was why Premier Universalvalukov was frequently left to perform solo comedy.

普里马科夫爱做秀,别说,在群众中呼声还挺高,但是蒙不住明眼人。 这13货当初刚上台还挺小心的,但后来勃烈日列夫中了风进了医院(一时还谣传是死了),扑克脸罗蒙诺索夫得了肾病,身体都不是很好。 准备接班的安德烈罗波夫虽然是开国元勋安德烈索夫斯基之子,而且也有到基层工作的经验,但毕竟还未成气候。所以就数普利马科夫下台前跳得欢,倒是一直传说要接他班的副总理梁赞诺夫相对比较低调。

How the affairs would conclude was anyone's guess, particularly when taking account of the Associates Party that was about to kick off in three months. There were many rumours with some saying Threerepresentativ, the previous president, recovered after a stroke and traveled from coastal metropolitan Onsea to capital city Northkow where he made a secret speech. As the high rank military officers still swore their allegiance to him, the official mouthpiece of RLA (Red Liberation Army) was compelled to warn the officers that they had obligation to obey the order of the current president Harmonysov, thus everyone in the Associates realised the RLA did not have a harmonious relationship with its figurehead commander Harmonysov.

到底事情会变得怎么样,那时候还是得看苏共14大开得怎么样。当时可在苏联军队中有谣言,说中风了但是又好了的勃烈日列夫突然从海上名城敖德萨突然跑到莫斯科讲话了,高级军官都纷纷表态唯他马首是瞻,可是闹了一番大动静。所以搞得苏联军刊红军报刊登文章,要求军队听党指挥不要乱传谣言,结果消息都公开到人人都知道的程度了。

As for Premier Universalvaluekov, he was universally viewed by the people and the army as the one representing the value of high treason and corruption, thus how his premiership would end was a subject quite interesting for historians and distorians to contemplate.

所以说,到底苏共是搞军队上台的,真有事绝对第一个抓枪杆子,普利马科夫这方面基本没实力,未来如何还得再看。

Of course, by now you shall realised it's not about Soviet Associates but everything about People's Republic of Porcelain, and the events were not even occurred in a far away galaxy but here in our Solar System, and what's more, the episode is being staged right now, and on going ...

 
 
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