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The Romance of Two of Three Kingdoms

20 February 2012
 

In a wild jungle world that is yet to be discovered by human civilization, there are over 200 animal kingdoms, among which three big ones are called The United Eagles, The Bear Federation and The Rabbit Republic. One day, the rabbit leader was invited to visit eagle's nest where he watched a group of little birds hitting the nuts and dinned with the eagle head. When a group of little rabbits heard the eagles going nuts, they got excited and came up with their own hole digging exercise, and soon unearthed some pieces of history way back to Three Kingdoms' era about 1,800 years ago. One such piece was compiled by a rabbit nicknamed 宋鲁郑的粉丝 and posted on tianya.cn. Here we present it in both eagle and original rabbit languages:

One day the rabbit was invited to visit bird's nest. When the guest arrived amid the ferocious wind from the west, the host led him to an early spring garden dotted with cages where captured animals were held. The two sat in a pavilion to share a business lunch which included dishes of barbecued frogs, roasted swans and deep fried worms, as well as the wine made of snake blood.

"You know, I have always emphasized that I welcome carrots' peaceful growth, that I believe that well cultivated carrot or cabbage or even bok choy farms can help to bring stability and prosperity to the jungle," said the eagle, while munched on a mouthful of roasted swan flesh. "However, it also means that on critical issues like vegetable's rights, I will continue to emphasize what I believe is the importance of recognising the aspirations and rights of all plants."

As they dinned, the weather gradually changed, with a mass of cloud that looked like a dragon hung in the sky.

"By the way, this is a Black Dragon year, how much do you know about dragons?" asked the eagle of the guest.

"Not in particular."

"The dragon among divine creatures can compare with the hero among animals. You, rabbit, have traveled all holes and fields. You must know who are the heroes in the jungle, and I wish you would say who they are."

"Bear of the North Pole, with his vast territory, strong arms, abundant mushrooms: Is he one?" replied the rabbit, without hesitation.

His host shook his head, "The bear has a lot of courage but little wisdom. He was once tricked by me to give up his competitive interprise to take a high-risk business venture with me, as the result he went bankrupt, and now make a living by selling cooking oil. How can you call such a creature hero?

"Well, La Coq gaulois Cockerel then. The high offices of the jungle have been held in his family for many generations and he is still commanding the service of many households in the North A. Surely he is one."

"A bully, but a coward. He is fond of grandiose schemes, but is devoid of decision. While ruling a land of peanut size, he dreams great things but grudges the necessary sacrifice. He is not one."

"There is one with a large family, who is renowned as a lover of bullish democracy and whose fame has spread on all sides in the jungle. I mean the Elephant by River G, surely he is a hero."

"He is a mere semblance, a beast of vain reputation. No, not he." 

"Bull the United Islands, or Pan the Just Round, the rich households in their own regions. Are they not heroes?"

The eagle laughed out loud. "They are just my servants, who are not worth mentioning."

"With these exceptions I really know none."

"Let me tell you, heroes are like dragons who can assume any size, can rise in glory or hide from sight. Bulky, it generates clouds and evolves mist; attenuated, it can scarcely hide a mustard stalk or conceal a shadow; mounting, it can soar to the empyrean; subsiding, it lurks in the uttermost depths of the ocean. Now we are in the early spring season, and the dragon chooses this moment for its transformations like an animal realizing his own desires and overrunning the jungle."

"Who is such a creature?" asked the rabbit.

The eagle pointed his claw first at his guest and then at himself, saying, "The only heroes in the jungle are you and I. We are the Great 2, simple called G2."

The rabbit gasped, and the spoon and chopsticks rattled to the floor. Now just at that moment the storm burst with a tremendous peal of thunder and rush of rain. The rabbit stooped down to recover the fallen articles, saying, "What a shock! And it was quite close."

The eagle was suspicious. "Don't tell me you are afraid of thunder."

The rabbit looked into the sky and was almost tearful. "Who isn't?"

小白兔受邀到白头鹰家做客。白头鹰准备好了牛排与葡萄酒宴请小白兔。酒至半酣,忽然阴云漠漠,骤雨将至。天上突现金边乌云,犹如巨龙,白头鹰与小白兔凭栏观看。白头鹰说:“龙似英雄,白兔兄久历四方,能否与我谈谈英雄呀?”

小白兔不加思索答道“北极熊雄甲一方,领地万里,蘑菇极多,可以称得上英雄了吧?”

白头鹰摇头道:“北极熊有勇无谋,亮剑过早。我略施小计,已使其人癫家破,家财尽失,现在靠卖油度日,仅得温饱,何谈英雄?”

小白兔:“高卢鸡虎踞欧洲,威慑北非 ,可以称得上英雄了吧?”

白头鹰道:“高卢鸡色厉胆薄,好谋无断;区区小地焉有雄霸世界之气宇?守户之犬而已”

小白兔赶紧又道:“有一人,民主平和,家丁兴旺,世界看好,有口皆碑! 大白象可为英雄!”

白头鹰笑道:“此等虚名,吾故与之,实为冢中枯骨”

小白兔着急了:“英吉利小鹰、霓虹之辈富足一方可以为英雄吧?”

白头鹰哈哈大笑:“此等碌碌家奴,何足挂齿?”

小白兔低头道:“除此之外,我实在不知了”

白头鹰道:“英雄能大能小,能升能隐。胸怀大志,腹有良谋,有包藏宇宙之机,吞吐天地之志者也。”

小白兔懦懦道:“那谁能称得上英雄呢?”

白头鹰指了指小白兔,然后自指,“天下英雄唯兔君与鹰耳!”

小白兔吃了一大惊,筷子掉在了地上。

The following are some feedbacks to the rabbit story:

yezhupi1999 

波斯猫雄踞油道,寇仇环伺而仍敢叫秧,可谓英雄!

不能过河的棋子 

宇宙大国棒子榜上无名啊!人家要抗议了.

神州一统 

棒子乃当今英雄,何故不提?

人言

马中赤兔全姓奥巴
人中吕布祖籍韩国

管中窥豹74

华尔街司马家族笑而不语

ForOne10 

LZ你家吃牛排用筷子啊???

xydiscover

最后一句应该是:“小白兔吃了一大惊,胡萝卜掉在了地上。

土豆带泥 

最后一句应该是:“小白兔吃了一大惊,工兵铲掉在了地上。 

More at tianya.cn.
Do you wanna know what happens next? Read more at threekingdoms.com or keep chcking this website to find out the latest development.

 
 
RELATED:


According to the report by thebureauinvestigates.com, more than 160 children were killed in America’s drone war in Pakistan, and one in seven of all CIA strikes have resulted in child fatalities.

A fully armed US military Reaper drone in Afghanistan

However, speaking on the CIA-organized drone strikes on civilians, President Obama claimed that the strikes ‘have not caused a huge number of civilian casualties’.

On the other hand, when speaking on the CIA-incited Chinese rebels, President Obama claimed that "it also means that on critical issues like human rights, I will continue to emphasize what I believe is the importance of recognising the aspirations and rights of all people."

This guy either has a split personality or a double face.

By the way, a new leaked video, reminiscent of the Bradley Manning Iraq airstrike leak, showing a NATO general ordering an airstrike on fuel trucks despite dozens of civilians in the area, can be viewed at alexanderhiggins.com.


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