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House of Shame

27 March 2011

Obama: Urh, lady, you make me blush ... 'cause I wasn't trained to be your math teacher but a lawyer settling disputes with friends and foes. Don't be so cynical about my peace prize. Regardless how many kids I might kill today, I'll keep my peace prize, since it is my peace price, the price to become major shareholder of peace: high risk for high returns, the cost is human lives, the lives of your sons and our enemy's daughters. Trust me, your business is in safe hands.

Now, take a moment to look at this little toy, which is the hottest export item at the moment that saves hundreds of jobs for your kids once they return safely from Libya, Iraq and Afghanistan before, hopefully, 2018.


In case you know nothing about fascinating WMD, please allow me to explain it to you. This is called Joint Direct Attack Munition (JDAM) bomb, which is used to target surface threats. It explodes, in a spectacular fashion, and kills, on a massive scale - that helps reducing population pressure and energy consumption effectively!

Those pathetic weapons proliferation watchdogs expected the volume of weapons exports to decline under my presidency. They can keep dreaming on! I can proudly say, that the reverse has happened. I'm proven to be a competent president of the United States for all people in the world.

Let me again brief you on this biggest arms sale deal in recent memory:

This time last year, Boeing's F-15 production line was on the verge of shutting down. The F-15 is an old jet, first designed in the 1970s to outmaneuver Soviet MiGs. It has long been surpassed by more advanced rivals, and the U.S. military hasn't bought a new one since 2001. When production slowed to a trickle a few years ago, a pair of orders from South Korea (our dear UN lap dog's hometown) and Singapore kept the line alive, but just barely. Local politicians even fretted that Boeing would have to close the production line, eliminating hundreds of jobs and delivering a blow to the struggling regional economy. But I didn't lose my heart. I kept my vision alive because I had a dream in my mind.

Then, last summer, my dream became true. A buyer ordered massive ... 84 planes, boy, with an arms package worth some $60 billion - $60 billion, man! Wanna know who this mysterious buyer is? Well, I can tell you, but you should not tell anyone else, all right? ... He is a rich man, ultra rich ... a powerful monarch, very powerful ... who just accomplished a military mission in a neighbouring country by helping crackdown a pro-democracy protest ... This time I did not send warplanes over to kill the undesirable local population, so as you can see, I'm not an indiscriminate killer ... of kids, because I respect human rights and love peace. By the way, you can find more details on our arm's trading business at

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Next: British Attack


Just when we were about to be safe and sound

You send warplanes to bomb around

You take a hard line attitude

Time to send us back to battleground.


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