Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin is known to be a man
of multi-talents - he has mastered almost every skills the
legendary yet fictional James Bond is said to be capable
of. But there is one skill he is definitely lacking: cooking
delicious Anhui dishes that are characterised with natural
and subtle taste.
According to rumours, Mr Putin has determined to make up
this shortcoming, so he travelled to China and occupied a
home accommodation (农家乐) at Dragon Mouth Village (安徽省龙咀村)
in Anhui Province. Recently he was spotted sitting in a kitchen
leaning against the
supporting wall of a traditional
brick stove range by a harrassing journalist from a Guangdong
media called Sow's
Profile. Allegedly, the journalist broke into the kitchen
and took a shot of him and demanded an instant inverview.
In the beginning, Mr. Putin just smiled rather friendly until
the journalist started to ask some highly personal questions
in a hugely offensive manner, such as "Why you are unalbe
to find youself a female consort at the age of 48? Is it
because you are too stupid? Or too poor? Or too ugly?"
It is believed that Mr Putin replied in his newly acquired
Chinese: "I'm not a pig, therefore I don't wish to have
my profile got onto your sow's magazine. Get
lost your mother's, roll away your mother's, fxxx your mother's."
Rumours have it that the Sow's Profile felt dreadfully humiliated
and reported the incident to the National
Decrease and Reduction Commission, and NDRC felt the
matter terribly serious thus quickly informed Prime Mama,
and Prime Mama felt intensely sad and wept bitterly while
recited a line from a patriotic poet: "Why I'm tearful
all the time? Because I love my motherland so much."
When Ai Weiwei, the treacherous son of the poet, learned
the incident, he stripped himself naked in front of the Tiananmen
Square, once again, and cursed roundly before a camera from
Sow's Profile: "Fxxx my
Sow's boss' boss immediately got the hint and mobilized
80 plus media outlets under his control to declar to the
world that the Chinese Netizens were all outraged by Putin's
coarse language and that the villagers demanded the authority
to secure an injunction from court to forcibly evict Putin.
The move backfired, however. Majority of Chinese Netizens
are indeed outraged, but not by Mr. Putin's supposed misuse
of Chinese language but Chinese meida's reckless misrepresentation
of their view. All online surveys consistently show that
over 80% of respondents support Putin, while in the village,
Mr. Putin is repeatedly urged to stay in the home commodation
by all villagers, exept one household called Guangdong Hua
(广滑竞技学院), a family that is gossiped to have a speical link
with some anti-motherland forces in Taiwan.
Seeing the overwhelming support for Mr. Putin from the general
public, Sows published a new article, urging the public not
to go against Mr. Putin. (“宽容”“刀下留人”)
The skin of the Sows are just so much thicker than humans.
Now is the question: Is this a factual report or a fictional
Click here to find
out the answer in the left column.