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Lin Chong's Journey in Water Margin
with a Twist

30 September 2010
 

林冲有功绩有身份八十万禁军教头忠心报国,
高衙内市井泼皮不学无术结党营私扰乱朝纲,
可惜堂堂一条好汉竟生生栽在卑鄙小人手上!

望家乡,去路远,
别妻千里音书断,
关山阻隔两心悬。
讲什么雄心欲把星河挽,
叹英雄身陷囹圄遭灾难。

Lin Chong (林冲), a hero in Water Margin (水浒传) - one of four greatest classic fictions in Chinese literature, was the distinguished professor of martial arts, specialising in metal weapons of all sizes, from as big as a sword to as tiny as a surgical knife, for the 8000,000 strong imperial health and well being guards.

Gao Jr. (高衙内), on the other hand, was an adopted son of a powerful official in the government of Song Dynasty with his true identity and real background and DNA property and Gene makeup unknown to public.

One day Gao met Lin couple and was immediately attracted to Mrs Lin. He tried to impress Mrs Lin by pretending to be a poet with a PhD from a monastery in Nepal, and presented his verse that he said to be composed by himself but in fact translated from a Sanskrit text. It happened that Lin Chong also knew Sanskrit which he learned from his good friend Lu Zhishen (鲁智深) who was a Buddhist monk in exile from monastic institution. So Lin reminded his wife quietly not to be fooled by Gao's plagiarism. Mrs Lin didn't know about Sanskrit but agreed that Gao's verse could not be considered acceptable literature and therefore declined to keep the poem in her purse.

Gao became love sick since and sent his agents to find out why Mrs Lin refused to accept his gift. When he learned it was Lin Chong who exposed the plagiaristic nature of his work, he vowed he would do everything to destroy Lin.

He ordered his henchmen to shout abuse at Lin family home's front door, back door and side doors, day and night, year in year out, for ten years, and published his message in pseudo name Magnetic Man (磁人) on the wall of his private courthouse called New Threats for everyone to read:

"I've slept with Lin's wife for free, I declared it to the world long time ago! (XXX的老婆被我白搞了,我早说了)"

Lin Chong was outraged, so whenever he met Gao, he would glare angrily at Gao that enraged Gao even further. He told his adopted father that he was going to die of broken heart if he could not get rid of Lin Chong and get Lin Chong's wife.

"But you've already slept with her for free?" said old Gao.

"You know me, dad, I'm a chronic liar ... aya, I'm gonnar die, my back is so pain, my bum is so sore, just like having been hit by a hammer or a metal bar or ... woooo ... wow...." Gao Jr. squeezed a few drops of pepper water into his eyes and the tears immediately streamed down.

"All right all right, don't cry my baby, I'll send Lin Chong to hell."

Next day, old Gao asked his men to send for Lin Chong, and when Lin arrived, Gao tricked him to enter a room that by law he had no right to step in. Lin was seized and handcuffed on the spot and immediately tried in his absence by media that include public massagers, private matchmakers and teahouse storytellers, then again tried before the imperial court after being interrogated for seven days without access to his legal advisers, then sentenced to forced labour in Cangzhou (沧州), from where Lin fled to Water Margin to join the group fighting alongside with his comrade-in-arms Lu Zhishen against Gaos and other corrupted elements in the court, and eventually became one of 108 legendary Water Margin heroes immortalised in the classic novel.

But hang on, Gaos apparently have reincarnated and so are the heroes --

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RELATED:

万不想被方贼引入陷阱,
I was led into a trap!

到如今这冤屈何处能伸?
The media trial is a crap!

CCXV满蒙二人转: 林教授,认了吧!
林冲: 白霸、董超休太狂!

M+M Storytellers:
This is a media trial staged in our new reality television courtroom, please stay tuned, don't go away, we'll take no break and keep condemning him and his family and his relatives and his friends and his colleagues and his supporters and his sympathisers for next ten years, because ...... hum, I beg your pardon, who is the accused? Which one exactly? Professor Lin who inspired Dr Xiao? Or Dr. Xiao who educated Mr. Fang? Or Mr. Fang who defamed Professor Lin? You don't really know? Anybody knows for heaven's sake? No? FxCxCCxV! Ok, ok, now it's time for a commercial break, but we'll come right back, please don't go away, stay tuned ...


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