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Beijing Ducks on Washington?

6 July 2010

Americans always like to scare their kids and somebody else's kids by telling them that Chinese are big monsters who would snatch their weiqi (围棋 the game of go) if they dare to bring it to Beijing or grab their basketball (球球)when Chinese visit Washington, but now Americans are going to take a boatload of firecrackers to Chinese doorsteps to explode which will certainly wake up Chinese babies and alarm Chinese mummies, said PLA General Luo Yuan (罗援) yesterday (not in exact words though), quite resentfully, during an interview with a Hong Kong television station. On the other hand, he said he believed this could be a good chance for the kids all over the world to find out who are the real threats to the peace of children.

Further, it would be a perfect opportunity for Chinese Defence Force to check if the detective and early warning systems are well in order, if the intercommunication is effective and reliable, and if the joint strike force is up to scratch, added the Chinese General.

In the meanwhile, the noisy Chinese online community is currently discussing how to welcome the US ducks sitting on the firecrackers loaded on Washington. One advised the PLA to fire 5 bomb-solutes from different angles to honour the visiting US marines, another suggested the soldiers to use maritime map once used by Admiral Zheng He (郑和: 1371 - 1435) of the Ming Dynasty when he cruised the world, so if the bombs hit the boat and turned the sitting Washington ducks into roast Beijing Ducks, the Chinese President could always say that it was a tragic mistake and a result of mix-up caused by an out of dated map being mistakenly fed into the databases.


Hello hello, Chinese take away? 500 serves of Beijing Roast Duck please, deliver to Washington.

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