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Tale of Two Gates
In the Yellow Sea

8 June 2010

At the moment the Yellow Sea, where a South Korean warship was sunk by either North Korea or South Korea or the United States or aliens, becomes the hot topic of various reports/hearsays/gossips/rumours, focusing on, in particular, two gates: one is America’s Gates, and another is China’s gate. Allegedly, America’s Gates wants to knock at China’s gate.

Report ...

America’s Washington is going to enter the Yellow Sea, China’s front yard, to participate in the joint military exercise with the South Korea as a punishment to North Korea who may or may not have sunk anybody’s boat. Previously the joint manoeuvres took place in the east of Korean Peninsular known as the Sea of Japan, but this time America’s Gates decided to drive his nuclear-powered aircraft carrier, reported to be able to carry up to 90 combat aircrafts or early warning planes, to the front gate of China.

Hearsay ...

Gates: Bah! Dare to deny my visiting visa application and refuse me to enter your capital by aircraft powered by patrol? Now you mark my words! I come anyway. I’ll come by aircraft carrier powered by nuke to knock at your front gate in the Yellow Sea.

Gossip ...

China’s military authority has called for an urgent meeting regarding the situation with the gates. The Second Artillery Corps, China’s strategic missile forces, and the nuclear submarines fleet are said to have received the order to fire at Washington once it is found to help Gates to gatecrash China's front yard.

Rumour ...

The PLA troops in China’s northeast region near the Korean Peninsula have been put on second level combat readiness, and China’s elite force 39th Army is alleged to have congregated at the Yalu River through which Chinese volunteer armies entered North Korea 60 years ago. It is further rumoured that once the war between China and America breaks out, 39th Army would cross the river and dart towards Soule (汉城) to obliterate the joint US-SK headquarters, the Second Artillery Corps in Liaoning would move to eliminate America’s Marine Corps base in Asia, while the strategic missile force in Xichang may focus at destroying U.S. air base for F22. Of course, all these are believed just to be rumours ... so far.

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Recently South Korea keeps urging China to take responsibility. I wonder what responsibility South Korea wants China to take? Did China get you pregnant? Are you sure that is not from America? 韩国小李子最近大叫,中国,你要负责啊,大国的责任啊!洒家一听,啼笑皆非!莫非中国把韩国泡怀孕了吗?别到处认儿子,小心那是美国种

-- by Chinese Netizen 老风先生 (


- Yep, I can feel there is a baby in your tummy.

- Your paw is on my chest!

- Congratulation! You've given birth to a healthy baby.

- That is a chocolate bar!

- Anyway, be patient, a nice surprise will come to your way .... eventually.

- I know ... so ... sank my boat ... blame on my brother ... claim to be seen naked on bed with my master by my brother ... my master loves my neighbour .... 's front yard ... knock, knock, knock, at the gate ... anybody's there? ... you say you are not there?! ... Crack!

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