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Uncle O!Ba-Ma Cuddles His Adopted Nephew

26 May 2010

干侄: 干叔, 抱抱!

干叔: 好啦好啦, 玩去吧, 乖!

Lee: Uncle, my brother brutalized me.

O!bama: Don't cry my baby, tell uncle what happened?

Lee: Hum .. I think he sneaked out of his north-facing room and played his flying disc game in the balcony and knocked off my toy warship which fell to the ground through the gaps in balustrades and smashed into pieces, without my notice ... left me with no evidence ... I have no real evidence ...

O!bama: Ok, ok, I'll punish him for you, which is why I'm here living in your master bedroom for. Don't worry about the evidence, we Americans are creative and inventive people.

Lee: I know, and me too, uncle!

Barake: Yes, I've noticed. You did well, and did well. Reinventing history is a way to go for history-lacking get-rich-sudden families like yours and mine.

Lee: Uncle, I want you to kill my brother so I can take his room and have the balcony all for myself.

O!bama: You are hopeless. Like what I've told you millions of times before, you must focus on a bigger picture. Our target is your neighbour, the family who owns that huge heritage mansion. Those people are the friends of your brother, and our plan is to destroy their history through false claims made by you and by Manchu; to destroy their civilisation by luring them to desert their own culture through propaganda generated by CIA-trained democracy fighters; to destroy their economy by coaxing them to lend money to me and fully open their market to my garage sales through U.S. foundation-supported advisers; to destroy their population by eradicating their native crops and imposing Han-Chinese only one-child policy through their Monsanto-associated GM biologists and the five-member Family Planning Commission which are mainly consisted of Manchu and Korean. Once we've pulled down your neighbour's mansion and drive them into extinction, no one can stop you from taking over your brother's room and to claim your neighbour’s heritage, tangible or intangible, as your own.

Lee: Then what's for you, Uncle? I understand you never offer anyone free lunch.

O!bama: That's right. I'll convert that site into an amusement park to make money and into a rubbish dumping ground to keep my own house clean.

Lee: But how long I'll have to wait to see that day coming?

O!bama: Won't take too long, as long as you get yourself re-elected and keep inviting me to stay in your home and foot 60 percent of my bills.

Lee: But I'm not a popular guy, what if I don't get re-elected?

O!bama: Well, there is no lid covering the Pacific Ocean, isn't it? Take a plug to visit the sailors who were killed either by you or by me or by your brother or by aliens. Got?

Prev: A Fengshui Hill
Next: South Korea's New Discovery


The images of Chinese cultural essence Taichi and Eight Trigrams have been displayed on South Korea's flag as their national symbols.

The picture of armillary sphere invented by Chinese Zhang Heng (张衡, 78 - 139) of Han Dynasty and a figure in Chinese Ming emperor's costume become the central motif in South Korea's money notes.

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