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Why Fish Died Like This?

27 March 2010


Do you ever wonder how this fish got himself caught in such an awaked fashion and died, subsequently, of dehydration? We can’t tell you exactly what had happened, to be honest, but we can assure you based on the information we collected through careful study of the reports, that he was not a suicidal fish-bomb; nor was he a fish-spy ventured into the foreign territory. He was, in fact, a law-biding fish living within the boundary of his fish community in a lake. The lake dried due to the current drought hit China’s southwest, which was not his fault. He didn’t do anything, but in the end he found himself trapped in the dry soil.

Then who is responsible for the tragedy in which disastrous fish genocide has occurred? Heaven, of course - the meteorologists told us - it stubbornly refuses to drop merciful tears to comfort his once beloved Earth.

But why Heaven is so heartless? A growing number of Chinese believe, somehow, it is because he's got upset with Earth who has shaven her head and planted artificial hair instead, which affects her health greatly and makes her look like a monster.

But why Earth would be so crazy as to cut her long hair that grew so beautifully in this region previously? A sizable number of Chinese researchers claim that she was forced into getting her hair cut by an overseas hairdresser, under the help of a group of local Chinese, with four, allegedly, in particular: a greedy businessman, a corrupted government official, a cold-blooded scientist and a muddy-headed scholar.

The hairdresser is said to be especially good at making paper with hair grown on Earth. And he is so good at that, that he can make a lot of paper and make paper very fast, so he needs a lot of hair, and needs hair urgently.

The hairdresser is a businessman, and to most businessmen, Time is Money and Money is God, although sometimes some businessmen would come out to declare that they reckon there could be something else that are more important than money, such as how to defend the rights of those who find pleasure in racial vilification by calling Chinese “baby eaters” on the cyber space.

The hairdresser is not like this. He is an honest man, to be fair, and he never pretends he would do no evil, which is respectable. So our respectable hairdresser openly sought assistance from GM hair. GM stands for Genetically Modified, or stands for God’s Money, and the GM hair in question is reportedly named GM Eucalyptus.

The rest is history and the history has now been caught in camera with this poor fish to be presented as the footnote.

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