Japan: Help! Somebody steps on my toes!
Russia: You sure these are your toes not
pebbles in my backyard?
Japan: Let me repeat, my stance is that
those four pebbles are part of my foot, so your deliberate
stepping on the pebbles is very regrettable and will harm
the neighbourhood relationship between you and me.
Russia: Don't be so hysterical! Your reaction
is wrong and unacceptable. Be a good boy, okay, don't keep claiming
your neighbours' properties as yours.
Japan: You wait, I'll call my uncle. Uncle
Sam! Woooooo [sobbing], somebody steps on my toes!
Philip Crowley: Hi, world, listen, I do
back Japan regarding those four objects.
Japan: Did you hear what my uncle said?
Be afraid, be very afraid.
Russia: Come on, that guy can't be your
real uncle, he's White, and you are not, for your yellow
sun goddess' sake, that guy is more like my relative than
Japan: Then what are you gonna do?
Russia: Me? I spoke with the people in
the backyard and toured a geothermal power station, which
makes me realise How many beautiful places there are in Russia!
Japan: You have no right to do so?
Russia: Of course I do. It's the president's
duty to control the development of all Russian regions, including
the remotest backyards.
Japan: I will not tolerate that.
Russia: Oh, yes, you will, I know. You've
tolerated that big Sam
stepping on your two shoulders for 65 years; you seem
to quite enjoy it and even call him uncle.
Japan: I am a war
criminal of WWII as you must remember and he is the
police, judge and prison guard. Now I'm still under house
arrest - what do you expect me to do?
Russia: So, as you must remember, I'm also
the police who apprehended you and the judge who tried you.
Let me remind you, you must return all your war
trophies and keep paying your fines, otherwise, you will
be condemned to life in prison. By the way, do me a favour.
Please never think of becoming a permanent member of UN Security
Council, so as not to waste our time in keeping rejecting
your applications, won't you?
Peace Prize Agenda
the Fire in Reed Marshes