I Didn't Want to Give UP
I Took up Challenge
农笑非 3 Nov 2008:
Just when I poised outside the office considering
my next movement, I saw a four-wheel drive stopped nearby.
A mid-aged man with a big beer belly got off the vehicle
and straight entered the office block. My intuition told
me that this was the real site manager, so I followed him
into the room without hesitation.
The men sat at the desk smiled broadly when
they saw the beer belly and stood up to hand out their business
card. "This is Team Head Chen I mentioned to you," said
the man in a four-pocketed jacket, pointing at his companion.
The beer belly also smiled and invited all
of us to take sate.
"No no, he's not with us," The four-pocketed
jacket scowled at me.
"I'm also doing waste disposal business," I
self-introduced to the beer belly, grinning back.
"Well," the beer belly smiled again, "I'll
talk to you late, please wait outside."
No need to argue. I left room, but I didn't
wander away, just stationed near the door smoking.
The area was yet to be fully developed, and
thus was quiet, saving the noise generated from leveling
machine. It wasn't difficult for me to eavesdrop conversation
in the room which made me feel a chill through my bones.
From their dialogue I figured out that the
Chen was not a private businessman, but a public servant.
In fact, he was a head of Law Enforcement Corp for Urban
Development, which means he was the man with right to fine
construction companies deemed by him as having breached laws
or regulations, for instance to have a few pieces of rubbish
accidentally fallen off truck during transportation to the
For a man in his position to take this contract
was an act of breaching laws and regulations in itself. I
heard rumours about this before, and it appeared there was
some truth in the gossip. Would the site manager dare to
refuse the request by Chen, a head of Law Enforcement authority,
for the contract? I didn't think so.
As my competitor had such a formidable background,
I knew there was absolutely no chance for me here. Slowly
I dragged my feet walking down the hill along the rough road.
The time was late afternoon, and I felt worn
out. As soon as I took a break by resting on a stone at the
road-site to collect my thought, my cell phone rang. It was
from my mother. I hang up on her and called back immediately.
She asked me how my business went and I told
her everything was fine. However, I sensed a hesitation in
her voice and I guessed she must have encountered some great
financial difficulties. I have three old sisters and a young
brother, and my parents were heavily penalized for giving
birth to more than one son. My mother, like most of Chinese
peasants, still believes it would compromise her integrity
to ask her daughters for financial help, as it would be like
to steal money from their in-laws. As the eldest son, I'm
obliged to support my parents financially, but my mother
never asked me to do so, and this was the first time.
"I'll send you a thousand yuans tomorrow," I
My mother was so pleased. "No need for
that much, 500 yuans will be enough," urged she.
I immediately called my brother, but he said
he only got 300 yuans in his account. His computer repairing
business was bad, and his balance sheet was in red this month.
My mother had always been tremendously proud
of me: I went to college, I married a city girl, I became
a branch manager, and I started my own business with my brother.
For this, she received a great respect from fellow villagers.
She did not know I in fact lived a life that was so deprived
and depressed. I would love to tell her the truth, yet I
couldn't - it would break my heart to see her disappointed.
That day I sat on the stone by the rough road,
until the night fell.
Comments from viewers:
Sorry for asking but I really want to know:
why didn't you choose to kill yourself?
Don't take offence; in fact I do admire your
courage to live.
Why should I die?
Since I failed my life, I dared not to think
Your story gives me courage to live.
You remind me my life during that period,
which was very similar to yours. The only difference is
while you went to surf at internet cafe every day, I took
daily trip to read for free in bookstores, as I did not
even have money to go online. I became known to those working
in the bookstores and they often examined me with a strange
look on their face.
Thanks heavens, my business eventually took
off and now I've even bought a house. But I would not forget
my life during that difficult time.
Those who are still struggling like I once
was, please do not lose your heart. Keep trying and you
may eventually succeed.
农笑非, you are a real bloke! You've touched
The original text in Chinese can be viewed
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